To share or not to share?

That is the question!

It's very normal and natural to be selfish. At the same time, the most "human" thing is to behave yourself and try not to. Well this can change a lot from one country's culture to another. In one hand we can notice that in most of the industrialized countries (USA, Canada, Australia and most of the countries in Europe) the society is highly individualistic. Everyone has it's own things, his own space, his own everything. In the other hand, most of the less developed countries have a tendency to be more group oriented and to share a lot more. In Mexico, people is quite unified and it's very normal to share a lot. In the USA, which it's neighbor just up north, thing are almost extremely different in this aspect compared to Mexico. In the USA, the family is generally not as important as it could be a little bit southern. For example, how many kids get kicked out of their houses exactly when they become 18 in the USA? A lot! In contrast, how many young professionals still live in their parents' house in Mexico? A lot!

I guess is not only a question of rich or poor countries what determines whether there is an individual or group oriented society, even this is a very influent factor. In Japan for example, society is very group oriented, even when they have a very good economic situation. Japanese give a lot of importance to hierarchy and family. So countries with more unified families trend to be more collective, we could say this two go often together

Let me give you another example, when people go to a restaurant in Mexico, let's say it's a small group no more than 10 people, there is a big chance that there is going to be only one person paying, while in Canada, when they bring you the bill, they actually bring one different for each person depending on what each one ordered. The thing is that in Mexico the way it works is that maybe somebody paid the whole bill this one time but the next time is going to be somebody else who does the same thing. In Canada when you go out to a restaurant you do it most of the times with friends, while in Mexico we often go out to eat with the family.

In some African countries this sense of collectivity is even stronger. I had a roommate from Congo once. His computer was broken for a while and he didn't have a TV in his room. It was very normal for him to come to my room when I wasn't there, dressing nothing but boxers. He had always a kind of smell not very pleasant (I don't have anything against Africans, but it is true that on a westerner perspective, they have a very strong body odor) and he would take my laptop, sit on my bed over my sheets, with my pillow over his laps to put MY laptop on it(I hate when people use my laptop! I hate to write my usernames and pw's all over again after somebody else checked his email, signed in to msn messanger, etc. I just hate it, but when people ask: "Can I just check something in your computer very fast?" I can't just say no, it would look so mean, anyways...) and watch TV. Absolutly normal for him! All mine is yours and all yours is mine (I don't know if we can say this in English, but in Spanish we say: "Lo mio es tuyo y lo tuyo es mio"). A lot of you might know the Spanish expression "mi casa es su casa", well he took it pretty seriously. And let's not talk about the food, all I can say, is that he would take whatever he felt like from the fridge. Even that nice cheese that you normally save for a special occasion.

In Mexico, people will always offer to some one who suddenly comes a piece or a little bit of whatever they are eating. Just because it's polite to do it, even when you don't really feel like offering. At the same time, the other person will always answer that he/she doesn't want, what ever fake reason is good to justify, just because that's the way to act if you are a "well raised" person, even if you are really hungry. If they insist a couple more times, then you can accept. It's just the normal and polite way to proceed. Conversely, in Canada nobody offers anything unless they really want to offer you something and people wont retain themselves if they are offered something and they feel like having some. That left me in very bad situations many times.


A funny story; Me and one of my Mexican friends went to a Quebequer's room in the university's residence, where he was with a couple of friends. We went to visit him just to hang out and chill a little bit. They had ordered a pizza just before we got there, so when the pizza got there something really chocking happened. I was OK if they didn't offer us pizza, I mean there wasn't enough for everyone and if they would have offered me I wouldn't have accepted. Well, what happened is that they kicked us out! They said: "We are sorry guy but we just ordered one pizza and it is just enough for us, so is not that we are kicking you out but... you know..." Really, we couldn't believe it! It was way to incredible for us. We left and we never came back! Damn bastards!!! hahaha! What I try to say to myself in this kind of situations is the following: "No no no, I know it's a different culture and I shouldn't judge. It's not a worst way to act, it's just different." And just to clarify, not everyone in Quebec is like this. There is some very nice and welcoming people too.

Anyways, if any of you, between my thousands of readers would like to share a funny story on this subject, please don't hesitate, I'd be very glad to read about it.